dude, this is such crap, whoever manages the office network has blocked Twitter D: now i can't access youtube, twitter, and several other sites.

at least i still have livejournal and hotmail, and hopefully they won't block those. xD;;

but seriously, dude, what is the point of the internet if half of it is blocked?? jeff wants me to hook up these two monitors to the Nero 2, but i haven't been able to because half of the internet is blocked so i couldn't research how exactly to go about doing it. which is crap, since the tech guy we use is made of crap and never got replied to my call or my email.

AND THEY ARE STILL ARGUING ABOUT MY JOB. seriously, this is really starting to bum me out ><

BUT.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THINGS.

I HAVE A THREE-DAY WEEKEND. AND IF ALL GOES ACCORDING TO PLAN, I WILL BE BAKING WITH LINNET TOMORROW MORNING AND THEN COAST-ING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

AND I INTEND TO HAVE A =GOOD= 4TH OF JULY BECAUSE, SERIOUSLY, FOR THE PAST TOO MANY YEARS THE 4TH OF JULY HAS BEEN SUCH CRAP. I HATE 4TH OF JULY AND I DON'T WANT TO HATE IT.

SO I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

YYYRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRRHH.


*cough*

i've been at work too long xD;; only 1 hour and 17 minutes left til i go home!



[EDIT]

oh, and hey! i saw Public Enemies last night, and it was awesome! not only was it exciting and butt-kickin, and probably the best period movie i've ever seen*. not to mention the EXTREME GQ-NESS. dude, Deppster, Balebat, and Billy Crudup? HELLYA. Christian Bale takes the cake on GQ-ness, though, i think. even though Deppster is of course very GQ in all his 20's gangster-ness. i dunno, Bale just has a way of GQ'in the heck out of everyone xD;;

BUT YA. GO SEE IT. it's very cool and exciting!


*not, like, best period MOVIE but best PERIOD movie, like, they nailed the period the best of anything i've ever seen. it didn't feel too gritty nor did it feel too glamorous, and the film style was really... i dunno, it was cool. very well made ^^

so today has been nuts xDD normally work only inspires twitter one-liners, but todaaaaaay....

i had to run to the store while i was at work, but there aren't any stores around here in walking distance xD;;

then i was the center of yet more argument in the office. i'm not actually doing anything wrong, but the duties of my position are in fervent dispute in the office xD;;

aaaand then i found out that one of the guys in my office may have had a mini-stroke and apparently has been having problems with his heart for awhile now D8 so hopefully he'll be okay.

then Valerie decided that i needed to be hooked up to the company email service, which was a mess because it refused to work. and she neglected to tell me that she was having the company tech guy access our network from LA and work on the email problem from there xD;; so there i am, innocently at my desk, taking staples out of stacks of paper, and i look up and see my computer operating without anyone touching it, accessing files and changing settings xDD that was really weird.

now the email is all set up and weird and intimidating and corporate, and was followed by the arrival of the Nero 2, otherwise known as my new and slightly faster computer. the arrival of the Nero 2 also spurred an inuendo war with my boss. he insisted on making the rude jokes, and i insisted on ignoring them all. he thought i didn't get the jokes and started in on the whole, "oh you're just too young to get it" thing adults seem to enjoy so much and i considered but refrained from making a remark about how he's too old for those sorts of jokes xD;;

but anyway, the arrival of the new computer, for some reason, meant that i had to completely take apart my cubicle and move all my crap two cubicles down, kicking the new lady, Janice, out of her cubicle. i am now at Janice's desk and Janice is at Richard's desk and i don't like it as much as i liked it when everyone was in their proper cubicle xD;; before i was out of the way and i had my way with the cubicle, but now i feel like i buried in the middle of the office, surrounded by another person's stuff. and now everyone's got a bee up their butt about the change and, again, my job is the center of great argument in the office.

aaaaaaaaaand ya. maybe it does sound as crazy and somewhat awful as it was, but i guess with how horribly boring office work is, any sort of excitement can be traumatizing and earth-shattering xD;;

i just keep reminding myself that i am going to college and getting my degree and then getting my credential and then i am so cuttin' n' runnin' out of this office as soon as i get a teaching position. i don't care how much money i make in the insurance business, i am so sick of office drama.

[EDIT]
oh, i forgot the one cool thing that happened today! i found $20 i didn't know about in my wallet today 8D

so Transformers: Rise Of The Fallen.

not as bad as i was expecting! not as good as the first one, certainly annoying at parts. but still good ^^ i certainly don't need to see it 6 times in theaters like Star Trek, but i'll probably buy it when it comes out on dvd.

eye-rolls: several. mom, simons, voltron, leo, decepticon chick.... but i still like shia labeouf, so screw y'all who don't like him XD megan fox isn't the greatest actress all of the time, but she actually handles the really emotional scenes quite well, which i think is weird XD usually only really good actors keep me from rolling my eyes when the heavy stuff happens. but ya, so go her. i wanted to see more of the various Autobots~ we got alot of Decepticons, but not much in the way of Autobots.

buuuuuuut~ Optimus Prime is still the butt-kickin-est dude EVER. (seriously, guys, i freakin LOVE Optimus.)

and i'm a big fan of the army unit. those guys are cool.

and also Jetfire? dude that guy was AWESOME XD he also delivered the best line in the movie! and he had a battle axe!*

and dude? The Fallen? i have to say, i quite liked the villian. he was extremely cool.

AND ALSO RAINN WILSON WHO WAS GREAT OMG GIANT LOLZ I WANT TO TAKE HIS ASTRONOMY CLASS XDDD


and i'm just going to pretend that The Twins never happened. Twins? WHAT TWINS?? THERE WERE NO HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE TWINS IN THIS MOVIE.




*even though these days all i picture when i think "battle axe" is "Romulan battle axes" XD

thank you for all your well-wishes and to all of you who have been concerned for me! your kind comments have been a great gift to me over the past few days~  (thank you, especially, linnet and steven, for keeping me company all those times i asked for it ^^)

CHAD IS HOME. he is home, we have a diagnosis for the kind of depression he has, he's got appointments with a therapist lined up, and medication geared better toward helping him overcome his difficulties. there's still plenty of fight left ahead of us, but i think we're pointed in the right direction.

WOO!

[EDIT]
WE TALKED TO HIM OH THE RELIEF.

he did NOT make an attempt. he went to the hospital when he was feeling the inclination to. oh chad, you're such a good boy. OKAY. we're going to see him tonight at 6:30 and take him some clean clothes and things.

From Saturday night:

I am so lucky and so blessed to be surrounded by so many people who care about me and are so willing to do so much for me. After all that has happened today, I don't think I can ever doubt my own worth and the power of service and a smile ever again.

A few of you already know what occurred today; we don't know for certain because he refuses to speak to us, and as such the hospital cannot release any information, but it seems clear that my younger brother attempted to take his life again last night.

He seems to have impeckable timing~ the first time was the eve of my 20th birthday. This time, the eve before the giant fundraiser and my father's first job interview since being laid off last October.

As it would turn out, I am eternally grateful for this dinner. A few years ago I began practicing the idea of performing a service to someone else when you're feeling down or lost. This is certainly the biggest down and lost I've felt since that night before I turned 20 and here was, literally gift wrapped, the perfect service opportunity. With the help of so many members of my ward and the incredible, irreplaceble help of the Spanish Branch sisters, the help of my parents and grandmother, the help of my girls, we managed to amass enough money to send all the girls to Camp, fully paid.

I've never put on a big dinner/auction like this before, so it was hard and stressful, and I had no idea what I was doing, but I was able to spend a day when I should have been wandering the halls weeping, lost and frightened, serving and smiling. Saying thank you never gets old. I gave out so many smiles and thank you's to the deserving and wonderful members of my church. They spent all evening telling me how wonderful I am for putting together such a great evening and telling me I'm great, but all of that praise belongs to them. They have no idea what a service they did for me, how much they took care of me, and kept me together so that I could perform that service back for them.

But now I'm alone and at home, which is not what I want to do, because I feel the fear and despair I feel when thinking of my brother's situation trying to break through the glow of love that I've been clinging to all night. I don't want to give into it, because I know how that place is. I know what it feels like to be that afraid-- I went through it two years ago.

And yet again, the people who love me come to my rescue. I am so lucky, I am so fortunate, to have friends who will jump up the second I need them and be there for me. I am so grateful, and yet at the same time I mourn for my brother, that he would feel so lost, going through life without the knowledge that he is so deeply, deeply loved. I hadn't cried a single tear all day, but their immediacy, their support brought those tears that I've held inside for my brother out.

I am so lucky. I am so blessed. I don't know how I came to deserve all that I have, but thank God for it all. I will never doubt that my life is worth something, because it must be for me to receive so much love so frequently and so readily.

( Listy Meme )

"it is generally hard to get into closed things."
-- Chad

In a fight between Santa and Bigfoot, who would win?
" I don't really know. Bigfoot is super powerful, but Santa Claus has the Force. "  -- Lux

"absolutely no moisture left in me. this country is like a giant sham-wow"  -  Stephen Colbert

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

so The Lion King.

pretty much the best thing ever.

the production! the costumes! the sets! the dancing! the music! it was all so incredible and astoundingly beautiful. i think i cried through at least half of it, and through about 80% of all the songs. the music was so grand and full and big, i felt like i was completely over whelmed with sound. i don't know what it is, but really full music does something to me, so i kinda wasn't surprised that i couldn't quit crying xD;;

i blame Rafiki. that woman was stunning! best part of the show. every time she opened her mouth i felt like i was going to pop, she was amazing, and hilarious* xD

i also blame the original Disney movie. The Lion King is one of the best movie soundtracks ever written. i'd forgotten that. i don't think i will ever again.

IF YOU GET A CHANGE TO SEE IT THEN SEE IT.

i only have one complaint about the show, and it's more a disappointment than a complaint. there was a scene in the play depicting a hunt, which i absolutely loved. it was this elaborate, graceful dance where the lionesses circle and confuse a gazelle with this beautiful chaotic rythm and this gorgeous song. oh my goodness, it was awesome, and it had me on the edge of my seat for the wildebeast sequence when Mufasa dies~ honestly, i could not wait to see it.

but i was really disappointed by the wildebeasts D: i wanted more chaos and confusion, i wanted something powerful and stunning because this is MUFASA dying, and not just any ol' catastrophe should be able to kill Mufasa! but instead of wowing me, the wildebeasts were just rows of stationary people waving masks. i wanted movement, i wanted power! oh well.

i got over it pretty dang fast, though, because then the lionesses and Rafiki came out and there was this whole mourning sequence which was incredible and i cried again BECAUSE RAFIKI WAS SO BLOODY INCREDIBLE aaaand my disappointed lasted all of, like, a minute lol

i though both child Nala and adult Nala acted the pants off of child Simba and adult Simba, but that isn't saying much because i think both Simba's acted the pants off of themselves xD Nala was just s'dang GOOD. and Simba's teeth were s'dang WHITE that, even though i was too far away to make out faces, i could see those TEETH all the way from the back of the balcony where my brother and i were sitting xDD they were some impressive teeth.

and whoever the person was who originally came up with the costumes and thought up the way the characters move around the stage-- whoever that first person was-- definitely watched alot of Kabuki. which i LOVED. the lion's salute, the prowelling... all it needed was big wigs and sleeves and BAM we'd have a Kabuki on our hands** xD

and oh! OH! Mufasa's appearance in the sky OMG! THAT was SO COOL. Simba actually keeps his back to Mufasa the whole time and faces the audience, which i thought was really cool-looking, but the face! they assembled the face of Mufasa out of wood-looking pieces which floated and bobbed, so his face never looked totally assembled. wow, it was super cool, especially when paired with the dude's voice. wow, i really loved the guy playing Mufasa, he was awesome.

the OTHER cool thing about Mufasa, that is, OTHER than EVERYTHING ELSE, was his swords-- his kingly, kingly, butt-kickin swords. i dunno, i love the effect they gave, especially when Simba, at the end, looms over Scar at the top of Pride Rock holding the swords, which you see at that point for the first time since Mufasa had died, like, 2 hours earlier. you see them and go, "....OOH." and it's very very cool.


....so i could probably go on and on talking about how amazing everything was.

so i think i'll stop xD;; IT'S AMAZING GO SEE IT WOW YA SO COOL.

when i get home from work tonight i'm going to upload and link to stuff that i can't do while i'm at work ^^so ya xD;; i'm super jazzed.




*i found her myspace which gloriously had a few songs she's written on it, which i stole. there's also some of her stuff on youtube, but as i can't access Myspace OR Youtube when i'm at work, i'll post her stuff when i get home.

**which of course meant that i was sitting there wanting Demon Kogure to put on a Kabuki production of The Lion King and of course play Mufasa because that would be ~*~dazzling~*~

Something Amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGYAPr6UKhs

OMG GIANT NERDGASM JUST NOW.

SO. in the new Star Trek movie there are hidden bits all over the place for the Trekkies of the world. i've seen the movie 5 times, and every time i go i find new hidden bits because, seriously, they're EVERYWHERE.

SO. in the movie, Spock Prime and Kirk find Scotty and Spock gives him a formula he will invent for beaming from a location to a starship while that ship is at warp. Spock sort of disregards and altering-the-timeline business and just gives it to him because, hey, he's gonna invent the thing anyway.

great scene. big lol's. love Leonard Nemoy and Simon Pegg.

NOW. i'm sitting here in the office, pulling staples out of stacks of paper and keeping total boredom at bay by watching movies on my iPod. currently, i am watching Star Trek IV "The Voyage Home"*. in the film Scotty and Bones have to get their hands on a sheet of plexiglass, and to pay for it Scotty offers the head of Plexicorp the formula for "Transparent Aluminum", which isn't technically invented yet. before they seal the deal, Bones takes him aside and says something along the lines of You realize you've altered the timeline by giving him the formula blah blah blah, and Scotty replies with,

"Oh ay-- but how do you know the guy didn't invent the thing?"

XDDDD i actually had to sit and bounce in my seat for a couple minutes with my mouth covered.

...........


i love Star Trek so freakin much XD





*one of my favorite movies, and my very favorite Star Trek movie, which is currently sharing at position with the new one xDD

linnet and steven!

my Season 1 collection of Star Trek arrived! we need to PAR-TAY DOWN with some UN-remastered Star Trek!

so "UP".

saw it last night.

it is just about the sweetest, funniest thing ever. Carl, Russel, Kevin, and Doug are my OT4 now XD

i think my favorite thing about Pixar is their ability to tell a story without any sort of dialogue. the opening sequence was so sweet that i cried. it was the best part of the movie for me.

also, i've now spent all morning wandering around my house going, "hi there 8D" and ending every sentence with "because i love you 8D" (seriously, ILU Doug XD)

......

SO OMG GO SEE IT XD 

(i have such a huge soft spot for old people. i loved this movie so freakin' much xD;;)